Feel like you’re stuck in a sexless marriage? You’re not alone! Every relationship experiences a sexual drought at some point. Whether it’s stress from work, raising kids, or dealing with a long-distance situation, life can get in the way. Of course, going through a rough patch is different from being in a loveless marriage. When this happens, couples essentially live like roommates instead of partners. They become completely disengaged with each other – physically, emotionally, and romantically.
Whether you’ve found yourself in a rough patch or loveless marriage, there are a few steps you can take to get things back on track. Sometimes, when a relationship fizzles out and you’ve exhausted all help options, there isn’t much you can do to reignite the spark. That said, there are ways to fix what’s broken if you’re not ready to end it just yet.
Here are 5 ways to help fix your sexless marriage and restore intimacy:
1. Work on Communication and Expressing Your Wants and Needs
Good communication is essential for creating intimacy. When you open up to your partner about what you want in (and out) of the bedroom, it tightens your bond and increases trust. If you’re uncomfortable discussing bedroom needs, be honest! It’s important to open up about every aspect of the relationship – from sex to finances.
2. Explore Other Ways to Be Intimate
Boosting emotional intimacy is just as important as getting your sex life back on track. To do it, you’ll need to restore that cloud-nine feeling you had during the honeymoon phase. Communicate your feelings, work on building trust, go on dates, and show affection (kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc.). Fixing intimacy problems requires an all-or-nothing approach – you need to be connected on every level to make it work.
3. Deal With Your Underlying Problems
If you can’t seem to fix the situation no matter how hard you try, it might be time to address the root of the problem. Whether it’s stress, mental health struggles, or differences in libido, there are underlying issues that need to be brought to light. This is where a professional relationship coach can do wonders for your relationship!
4. Meeting Needs Outside of the Marriage
If you’re open to a less-traditional solution, you can consider a polyamorous relationship. Polyamorous couples have sexual encounters outside of the marriage that everyone consents to. While this type of relationship used to be considered taboo, it’s becoming more common in the modern age. Of course, it requires a lot of communication and agreements to make it work. Are you comfortable “sharing” your partner with others if it helps to satisfy their needs? If this is an avenue you both want to explore, it’s important to be on the same page and figure out what works best for you.
5. Know When to Move On
At the end of the day, you need to put your happiness above all else. If you’ve tried everything and find it’s creating more animosity than intimacy, it might be time to move on. There are times when feelings fade and you just can’t explain it – and that’s okay. Be honest with yourself and each other. Is it time for a break? Divorce? No one wants to be stuck in a marriage when one or both of you is emotionally unavailable.
While a sexless marriage may seem like the end of the road, it doesn’t have to be. If you’re committed to improving intimacy on every level, you’ll be enjoying a marriage filled with happiness (and lots of sex) before you know it.