As anyone in a relationship, especially one that has been ongoing for any length of time knows they come with copious amounts of complications and successes. Love, connection and mutual respect are what usually bring two people together initially. Yet, these relationships can become strained and stressed by stress itself; miscommunication, unmet reinforced expectations etc. Couples have their ups and downs but sometimes those valleys signal deeper problems that are likely to need some expert care. Knowing the red flags when it comes to couples therapy can save relationships from further harm.
It is no wonder that people who opt for Relationshipsandmore.com in Rye, NY often can examine their problems under the watchful eye of a neutral third party and leave with a better understanding of each other, grow personally and in how they can treat affection (and respect) back into one another.
Communication Breakdown
One of the biggest red flags that a couple may need to go through with therapy is an inability to communicate effectively. The first was: “Open, honest and respectful dialogue is the foundation of a healthy relationship. When communication deteriorates between partners they often argue and mistakes happen very frequently and don’t understand each other hence growing apart.
In some cases, one or both partners may start shying away from any form of communication with the other partner as he or she may be afraid of confrontation or may develop the mentality that communication is not an important issue. This can lead to several matters which are left unresolved thus compounding the situation, thereby developing resentment and frustration. This is because therapy enables couples to understand the root causes of their poor communication and how they can correct the situation by learning effective ways of communicating with either of them.
Persistent Conflict
Of course, all couples fight but constant fighting that does not get resolved or even turns into a raging fight is often a sign that something bad is going on. If two people are quarrelling over some issue and they argue about that very issue day in and day out, and the issues turn into fights and the fight becomes personal and ugly then this is an indication that one should seek help.
Any of these conflicts are likely to be devoid of the basics of trust and respect in a relationship. Such issues can best be handled in couples therapy because they provide a regimen of conduct within which such issues could be readdressed constructively. A therapist is useful because one may be able to find out what the source of the problems are and possibly how to cope with conflicts in a better manner as well as change the overall ways of communication between the couple.
Emotional Distance and Disconnection
Lack of intimacy is also one obvious indication that couples might need help from couples therapy. People change and so do their relationships and such changes may occur without the couples’ knowledge. This can include no sex, less touch, or even not ‘feeling’ one’s partner.
But when love which is the reason two people are together fades away one is likely to be left feeling lonely and dissatisfied in the relationship. Such distance could be attributed to different reasons which include unresolved issues, changes in one’s life or perhaps due to complacency. When in couples therapy, both partners have an opportunity to discover the reasons for such lack of emotional connection and, therefore, begin the process of reconnection. Many therapists concentrate their efforts on the aspect of couples’ emotional connection, which is considered to be a key ingredient to keeping the marriage fresh.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Reduced physical contact usually goes hand in hand with emotional estrangement and can thus be a very warning symptom that a couple might benefit from therapy. Tactile intimacy means contact of any sort; Lovemaking is simply defined as affectionate touch and this may come in many forms, it may be hand-holding, hugging, or simply touching one another, for instance, a touch on the shoulder.
Sexual relations thus mean if there is any reduction in physical contact there could be a problem in the relationship. This can make one or both partners start feeling like they are rejected, most times, they may feel unwanted and unattractive hence worsening the situation of the relationship. In the process of therapy, the couple can discuss the matters of intimacy in an open and non-critical way. The marriage therapists may assist the couple in discussing and resolving various issues including stress, insecurity or any past quarrel that might have forced the couple to develop a misunderstanding that hinders the physical contact between the partners.
Infidelity or Trust Issues
Cheating and trust problems are among some of the most difficult struggles any couple has to come across. Sometimes it is a physical betrayal, an emotional betrayal, or any other betrayal of trust in any other areas, which are likely to produce great harm in a relationship. If these issues are not resolved they do not go away but may continue to poison the relationship and create resentment, job insecurity and possible breakdown of the relationship.
Couples therapy can turn into a great asset in such cases, as both partners may voice their distress, learn more regarding the reasons for the breach of trust, and begin the process of restoration of the relationship. There is nothing more disgusting than an unfaithful partner and it is the reason why marriage therapists have the responsibility of helping the couple to forgive one another while at the same time ensuring that both partners feel safe and appreciated in the marriage.
The Impact of Changes in One’s Life
Marriage, childbirth, changes in jobs, and or movement to other places are some of the key areas that exert much pressure- on a relationship. These changes may lead to a shift of roles within the relationship hence calling for renegotiation of the existing roles in the partnership.
Although these transitions can help the couples to move closer together, they can also lead to stress, and as a result conflict or for the partner of the breadwinner, inferiority. However, where couples fail to manage these changes on their own then therapy comes in handy. In this case, a therapist explains the likely emotions a couple is to experience during change and helps the two work together as a team instead of pulling each other apart due to stress.
Avoidance and Emotional Withdrawal
It is critical to note that when one or both the partners see eye to eye, in the negative aspect avoiding any contact that they can have with each other or sharing reciprocal responsibility that comes with the relationship, then the relationship is likely to be in a critical state. Emotional withdrawal means that a partner begins to spend less time at home or if they are together, they can barely talk about the relationship, or one starts engaging in things that do not include his or her partner.
This withdrawal can begin a power struggle, where the other partner feels rejected hence withdrawing or even engaging in a fight. This is where couples therapy is useful to dissolve this cycle and compel both parties to be interested in the relationship once more. Couples are taken through a process of understanding why avoidance and withdrawal occur and helps them to find ways of healing this gap.
Final Thoughts
Any two people involved in a relationship need to acknowledge early signs that require the assistance of couples therapy to be able to improve the relationship. These include conflicts, poor communication, lack of intimacy, dishonesty, role transitions, and avoidance are signs that a relationship may require assistance from a therapist. Marital counselling provides the couple with an opportunity to discuss such problems securely and systematically enabling them to retrieve the dimension of closeness in their relationship, enhance their communication, and manage their conflict. Through therapy, the couples should be able to rekindle the feelings that made them get intimate in the first place so that their bond can withstand the strain of whatever predicament they are facing.
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